Blog: Life without a theme
This week, Karoy (Year 11), one of our Community and Service-Learning Captains for 2021/2022 spoke to us at our Principal’s Assembly about embracing the freedom to be who she wants to be!
At the end of last week, I received an email from Emily, our School Captain for 2021/2022, asking me to prepare a speech for the Principal’s Assembly. The only problem was that our new Student Leadership Team has come up with many ideas that we haven’t decided on a theme for our Prefect initiative for 2021/2022. Being the responsible person that I am, I replied, “Yes, of course I’m happy to do it” followed by a smiley emoji. I pressed send and felt instant regret. The first thing I thought was, “Ugh! I have to write a speech!” My second thought was, “How can I write my speech without a theme?”
I decided to browse Google, the best source of advice for all general queries. I typed in ‘The best theme for school captain initiative' and ‘High school leadership slogans’. This gave me a few ideas, but I wasn't satisfied with any of them because I really wanted to come up with something of my own.
After an hour of mindless searching, I was super tired so I shut my laptop, sat, and hoped my muse would come. Then a question came into my mind: “Why do I even need a theme?” Well, I know the people who already know me, trust me and support what I say, but I just feel more secure and confident when I can categorise myself to a specific theme to make my message more convincing. But what if I really don't have a theme? The answer, I realised, was that without a theme I’d have fewer limitations – in fact without a theme I could talk about anything and everything!
So here I am, talking about not having a theme.
For years and years, people have said to me me, “You need to be something in order to claim/celebrate it.” It's like you need to hold a concert in the national hall to claim that you are a pianist, you need to win an Olympic medal to say you are a successful athlete, you need to be in the LGBTQI+ community to say you are a supporter. Then, what does this mean for me? Does it mean that most of my life is nothing, without a theme?
People may argue, well you are Chinese, and you are an overseas student, that can be your theme! I know, I know, but this is my life, not my theme.
Many of us spend our lives trying to find out who we are and where we belong. We rummage through our wardrobe to find the most suitable theme, wearing it like an outfit, but always feeling like an impostor. Which part of me will fit today? Which part of me will offend the least and blend the most? We are always lost. Always asking for directions. And people point ‘my way’ like a scarecrow. (Sorry, for those that missed the cultural allusion there, this is a reference to Ginny and Georgia, Episode 8). What do you think? Is it a case of where the wind blows, I’ll go? This journey of self-exploration should be spontaneous, originating from our true thoughts. It shouldn’t be a checklist, ticking off one box, then ticking off the next. You shouldn’t be arranging your life according to the expectation of other people, criticising your eligibility based on criteria created by others, living your life as if completing a project to convince other people how perfect you are.
So today, I am reconciled with my own lack of a theme.
I no longer want to be the pot plant, fitting into one box, before moving to another, I want to stick down my roots, grow and flourish. I may lose the the elusive prize for now. They may not even know what kind of tree I am, walking past me without even noticing me. But I will stand and grow into the tree that I want to become until no one can pull me out. And this is where my security will come from.
Thank you!
Karoy (Year 11)
Community and Service Learning Captain 2021/2022